John Harriott

Just enjoying a splendid Mediterranean feast with my wife Janet. When she saw the crab sticks, she was off like a rocket! A bit like AddyDasRamdeuter was down the M6 when he heard Brockenhurst wanted his services. John Harriott, certified.

John Harriott here, coming to you live from Crete. Whilst I’ve been tanning it up, some fake journalists have been fanning it up. Remember, I broke the news on the fact VBHM and Vex would move as a duo. Others make lies, I spread truths.

Just out for a nice spot of lunch in the Trafford Centre. Talking of VERY HOT, here's some John Harriott spice for your Thursday lunch time: Ashton Vale are expecting to complete the signing of TyroneBeater11 this week. Fee of £45,000.

Just had my work discredited by an unreliable person. I'm sorry Mazim, but if the people believed you over me, Durham would've won the league by now. Stick with credible sources like me. Vexzema and Verybighardman won't join Brock now.

Just on a day trip to Krakow. Sharon wanted us to get an ice cream each, but I found it was cheaper to get two scoops on one cone. Talking of two scoops, Brockenhurst are expecting to scoop up Vexzema and Verybighardman in a massive coup.

Just got home from a sightseeing tour in Kyiv. What's the link between John Harriott and Kyiv you ask? A bit like Rolanheimer's family home, I have an EXPLOSIVE exclusive. Following intensive negotiations, riraawisthegoat is joining VRFC

What’s the difference between a John Harriott exclusive and Hiroshima? One sends shockwaves around the world and changes history. The other was a nuclear attack on Imperial Japan. SamuuFrost will not join Appley. Negotiations? Over.

Exclusive: #Durham are in talks with Stamford Athletic about a transfer for Vxntre. Vxntre is said to be very keen to return to Tyneside. Stamford are said to want £15k for the English defender. #SAFC